Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
A happy place of rolling green fields, where I can let my Snark off the leash to run free among the herds of Bewilderbeests, bringing down the slow and the stupid by the throat.
Feel free to give her a visit. View From the Porch
1.17.2007
Oh say can you see by the dawn's early flight
Well, I'm scribbling again, Matt, so hush.
I just returned yesterday afternoon from New York City. Say what you will about the city, my trip was fantastic. I had a great time, and cut a swath through the garment district that left a 4-square-block wake. ...then I had the honor of having to fly home. *grumble*
I left on Thursday. For reasons that were Not My Fault I had to fly through Chicago. In wintertime. I know what you're thinking...I got snowed in at O'Hare and had to sleep in the airport. You'd think wrong.
I flew to New York via Dallas, O'Hare, then LaGuardia. Amazingly enough, my luggage managed to hop, skip and jump across the country with no adverse effects (like spontaneous disappearance), even after an amazing series of gate changes. My friend, however, was clouded with bad travel karma. His luggage only had to go the last leg of the journey, but alas. Apparently, the shorter trips are worse. The luggage didn't make it. Ever. We left New York via Newark (the armpit of the universe) Monday morning, with only my bags in tow.
The Newark to O'Hare trip was surprisingly decent. The plane was only an hour late (rather than four, like the others), and we made it to Chicago in one piece. Then the party began.
The return trip was a direct flight home after Chicago, which was a GOOD THING, since OKC and Dallas were swarmed under by three inches of ice. The weather in Chicago was great for January, and life was excellent. Then they changed my gate. Twice. Now I'm sitting in the bowels of O'Hare waiting on a plane that is running late. Great. After two delays, we get on the plane. Whee! This is the only flight leaving for OKC, since they have cancelled all the other flights due to the ice sheet over the runway, and I'm on it! Hel-lo home.
We pile onto the plane (a very small jet--don't ask.), and the captain tells us that they have to de-ice the plane, etc. We sit for a while, then pretty soon back away from the gate. Wahoo! We may even leave Chi-town. Pretty soon all the power flickers, and the captain tells us that the plane de-icer messed up the engine and now it won't start. They are going to push us onto the tarmac for a jump start. Well, friends and neighbors, I don't think I like the sound of flying on an incredibly tiny jet for two hours on which half the engines had to be JUMP STARTED.
The jump didn't do the trick, so we were going to get dragged back to the gate. The car comes out, hooks up, starts to pull, and WHOMP! The line breaks. Great. Now we're stuck on the tarmac with planes backed up on either side of us, unable to get around. They send for a mechanic to come look at the wiring, and for some reason, he was unable to make it. The captain turned off the airplane, leaving us sitting with no light, no air, and no patience for about an hour.
Finally, everything conceivable has failed to roust the engine, so they decide to cancel the flight. No!!! This is the only one leaving, and now, it's not either. After about four hours on the plane, we get off and troop back into the bowels of O'Hare. Another hour in line for the agent to reschedule my flight and get me a room for the night...and it's 8:00. Had I rented a car when I get to O'Hare, I'd be almost home by now. *grumble*
My agent told me that I could fly into Denver, and could hopefully fly from there to OKC, but he wasn't sure about that leg yet... Let's think through the logic here: January-Winter. Denver-Mountains. Mountains-Winter-SNOW. Uh, no? I don't have much of a choice but to take the ticket, so at least I can leave Chicago--at 6:00 am Tuesday. Grr.
After hours on the phone at the hotel, I get my flight changed to Dallas. All is well. I get to Dallas, and the Oklahoma City plane is delayed, but I'm good. I'm on first class, and talking to a friendly Manhattanite who has a business in OKC. Finally the plane gets there, and we get on. Home at last.
I go to baggage claim, on the off chance that my bags actually made it past Chicago, and am faced with a sea of luggage. There are about 1000 suitcases spread throughout the lower floor, so I go through best as I can, and lo-and-behold, there's a bag. And it's really mine! So half my luggage is home.
I went back to the airport around midnight last night on the off chance that my other bag had been on the last flight in. Wonder of wonders, it was!!!!! Yay! Success!
I'm home (well, at work). My bags are home. I'm tired (and Chris, don't you say a word about sleep times!), and I wanna go home. Grumpy, sleepy, (and all the other dwarves), and the weather sucks. *grumble*
We're supposed to get 6 inches of snow this weekend to top it all off. If I get off work, I'm happy. If not, life sucks.
I just returned yesterday afternoon from New York City. Say what you will about the city, my trip was fantastic. I had a great time, and cut a swath through the garment district that left a 4-square-block wake. ...then I had the honor of having to fly home. *grumble*
I left on Thursday. For reasons that were Not My Fault I had to fly through Chicago. In wintertime. I know what you're thinking...I got snowed in at O'Hare and had to sleep in the airport. You'd think wrong.
I flew to New York via Dallas, O'Hare, then LaGuardia. Amazingly enough, my luggage managed to hop, skip and jump across the country with no adverse effects (like spontaneous disappearance), even after an amazing series of gate changes. My friend, however, was clouded with bad travel karma. His luggage only had to go the last leg of the journey, but alas. Apparently, the shorter trips are worse. The luggage didn't make it. Ever. We left New York via Newark (the armpit of the universe) Monday morning, with only my bags in tow.
The Newark to O'Hare trip was surprisingly decent. The plane was only an hour late (rather than four, like the others), and we made it to Chicago in one piece. Then the party began.
The return trip was a direct flight home after Chicago, which was a GOOD THING, since OKC and Dallas were swarmed under by three inches of ice. The weather in Chicago was great for January, and life was excellent. Then they changed my gate. Twice. Now I'm sitting in the bowels of O'Hare waiting on a plane that is running late. Great. After two delays, we get on the plane. Whee! This is the only flight leaving for OKC, since they have cancelled all the other flights due to the ice sheet over the runway, and I'm on it! Hel-lo home.
We pile onto the plane (a very small jet--don't ask.), and the captain tells us that they have to de-ice the plane, etc. We sit for a while, then pretty soon back away from the gate. Wahoo! We may even leave Chi-town. Pretty soon all the power flickers, and the captain tells us that the plane de-icer messed up the engine and now it won't start. They are going to push us onto the tarmac for a jump start. Well, friends and neighbors, I don't think I like the sound of flying on an incredibly tiny jet for two hours on which half the engines had to be JUMP STARTED.
The jump didn't do the trick, so we were going to get dragged back to the gate. The car comes out, hooks up, starts to pull, and WHOMP! The line breaks. Great. Now we're stuck on the tarmac with planes backed up on either side of us, unable to get around. They send for a mechanic to come look at the wiring, and for some reason, he was unable to make it. The captain turned off the airplane, leaving us sitting with no light, no air, and no patience for about an hour.
Finally, everything conceivable has failed to roust the engine, so they decide to cancel the flight. No!!! This is the only one leaving, and now, it's not either. After about four hours on the plane, we get off and troop back into the bowels of O'Hare. Another hour in line for the agent to reschedule my flight and get me a room for the night...and it's 8:00. Had I rented a car when I get to O'Hare, I'd be almost home by now. *grumble*
My agent told me that I could fly into Denver, and could hopefully fly from there to OKC, but he wasn't sure about that leg yet... Let's think through the logic here: January-Winter. Denver-Mountains. Mountains-Winter-SNOW. Uh, no? I don't have much of a choice but to take the ticket, so at least I can leave Chicago--at 6:00 am Tuesday. Grr.
After hours on the phone at the hotel, I get my flight changed to Dallas. All is well. I get to Dallas, and the Oklahoma City plane is delayed, but I'm good. I'm on first class, and talking to a friendly Manhattanite who has a business in OKC. Finally the plane gets there, and we get on. Home at last.
I go to baggage claim, on the off chance that my bags actually made it past Chicago, and am faced with a sea of luggage. There are about 1000 suitcases spread throughout the lower floor, so I go through best as I can, and lo-and-behold, there's a bag. And it's really mine! So half my luggage is home.
I went back to the airport around midnight last night on the off chance that my other bag had been on the last flight in. Wonder of wonders, it was!!!!! Yay! Success!
I'm home (well, at work). My bags are home. I'm tired (and Chris, don't you say a word about sleep times!), and I wanna go home. Grumpy, sleepy, (and all the other dwarves), and the weather sucks. *grumble*
We're supposed to get 6 inches of snow this weekend to top it all off. If I get off work, I'm happy. If not, life sucks.
12.23.2006
My, how time flies...
Greetings and salutations, my revered friends...I'm betting that you don't feel revered, but instead more neglected than anything. Well, not to fear, I is here.
I was looking through the blogs o' ages past, and realized that I have let many things slide. Of course, there are those things in my life that are constant. LIW will always be a lazy PITA. Minnie will always be arrogant, shy, and whiney. These things go without saying. However, there are those things that have changed.
1. The data droids. They're not droids. They're acutally the only saving grace in my job. I think Ladies' Man has his work cut out for him to keep a harem in excess of that by Head Droid and Mini Droid. Really. I've never seen so many mothers and grannies try to foist off their offspring and grand-offspring upon data people in my life. It's really disturbing. I love them though, and stories of our escapades abound in my daily life. Most are not reprintable, but hysterical nonetheless.
2. Azzie has been completely nice to me. For months. As in, he comes behind my desk to give me amusing links to websites. And e-mail forwards. I still think he's an alien, but that's a whole other post. In other Azzie news, they have hired another guy in their office, and I haven't had to answer the phone for his section in months. Life is GREAT.
3. SM2's daughter has come to work for blessed agency. Who would ever let their offspring *work* in this agency is beyond me, but she seems to be ok with it, so who am I to interfere? BUT...now she's always preoccupied with the daughter, who smokes, and as the mother of such, she takes smoke breaks. All the time. It's lonely. (But I did get her to cut early with me yesterday!!! There is still hope!)
4. Sir Knight's son and daugher got married (not to each other!), and he's been completely mellow since the weddings. Daughter is pregnant, and Sir Knight thinks the baby will refer to him by his given name. Of course. The baby will be calling him Gramps, so I'm sure that when the time comes, hell will break loose.
5. LIW still hums. Off key and incessent as usual. She still leaves for no apparent reason, but at least most days she shows up! I think we finally got the fear of God in her, as her leave was exhausted and she was routinely getting calls from HR...I doubt it will last, but it's nice while it's happening.
The fam's here for Christmahaunakwanzakah...better go tip a feather. Ciao.
I was looking through the blogs o' ages past, and realized that I have let many things slide. Of course, there are those things in my life that are constant. LIW will always be a lazy PITA. Minnie will always be arrogant, shy, and whiney. These things go without saying. However, there are those things that have changed.
1. The data droids. They're not droids. They're acutally the only saving grace in my job. I think Ladies' Man has his work cut out for him to keep a harem in excess of that by Head Droid and Mini Droid. Really. I've never seen so many mothers and grannies try to foist off their offspring and grand-offspring upon data people in my life. It's really disturbing. I love them though, and stories of our escapades abound in my daily life. Most are not reprintable, but hysterical nonetheless.
2. Azzie has been completely nice to me. For months. As in, he comes behind my desk to give me amusing links to websites. And e-mail forwards. I still think he's an alien, but that's a whole other post. In other Azzie news, they have hired another guy in their office, and I haven't had to answer the phone for his section in months. Life is GREAT.
3. SM2's daughter has come to work for blessed agency. Who would ever let their offspring *work* in this agency is beyond me, but she seems to be ok with it, so who am I to interfere? BUT...now she's always preoccupied with the daughter, who smokes, and as the mother of such, she takes smoke breaks. All the time. It's lonely. (But I did get her to cut early with me yesterday!!! There is still hope!)
4. Sir Knight's son and daugher got married (not to each other!), and he's been completely mellow since the weddings. Daughter is pregnant, and Sir Knight thinks the baby will refer to him by his given name. Of course. The baby will be calling him Gramps, so I'm sure that when the time comes, hell will break loose.
5. LIW still hums. Off key and incessent as usual. She still leaves for no apparent reason, but at least most days she shows up! I think we finally got the fear of God in her, as her leave was exhausted and she was routinely getting calls from HR...I doubt it will last, but it's nice while it's happening.
The fam's here for Christmahaunakwanzakah...better go tip a feather. Ciao.
12.07.2006
12.04.2006
Hrm.
So apparently I have resigned my post as Centennial Chairperson. I just got a group email from one of my (rather rude) volunteers stating that the City Manager has offered the position to her. Hrm. I don't mind her running the show at ALL. I actually had given thought to resigning, but the least they could have done was to tell me about it! Good grief. The City Manager came to our last gig and told me how great he thought it was. I said thanks, and that I'd get with him after the first of the year. Ah well, I guess now that 2007 is upon them they decide that they really do need to get on the ball...as if I hadn't told him this many times already...
12.01.2006
SNOW!
So there is a God. And he decided I needed a reprieve. I've been falling more and more behind, and this blessed snow is like God looking down on me saying, "Yes, I know you don't have time to do everything you have to do before Monday, so I am going to make your workplace close for two days. Use them wisely."
Thank you, God. I have.
Thank you, God. I have.
11.29.2006
Back from Sabbatical..sorta
So I'm back from my real life due to popular demand. Let's see...going back, going back...
Hmm...
I had to write an official paper about my place of work. About organizational behavior and human relations problems. It was a breeze. :-)
One of my classes for the semester has finished as of 10 pm yesterday, so I may have more time to dedicate to my devotees.
There hasn't been a lot new going on at work-I've been working on things for my concert, things for Sir Knight's church program, and things for school. ...business as usual.
I'm playing a concert on Decmeber 14. All Christmas. Free. Come see me!
I'll be back after some caffeine and these brief messages...
Hmm...
I had to write an official paper about my place of work. About organizational behavior and human relations problems. It was a breeze. :-)
One of my classes for the semester has finished as of 10 pm yesterday, so I may have more time to dedicate to my devotees.
There hasn't been a lot new going on at work-I've been working on things for my concert, things for Sir Knight's church program, and things for school. ...business as usual.
I'm playing a concert on Decmeber 14. All Christmas. Free. Come see me!
I'll be back after some caffeine and these brief messages...
10.24.2006
Circles
*Sigh*...Circles of communication aren't necessarily good things. Normally, I try to look out for everyone around me. It seems that I was just made that way. Now, I'm going to make an honest effort to look out for #1. I'm tired of the politics and the games. Just let me do my job, and leave me out of it.
10.17.2006
Yay!
Life as I know it has been resumed. Bernard has returned from Thailand, therefore Trashy Thai has reopened. T11, here I come.
10.12.2006
I'm baaaaaaaaack!
Good eve, all...I have returned from the nether-regions and am in fine form as usual. I have so many things that have happened to me, but since most of them are geek-related, no one really cares!
We made fabulous music...previously thought nigh-to-impossible on that particular medium (handbells), but alas, it was amazing. Nice people, BEAUTIFUL little 18th century town on the NC coast...life was grand. Then I answered my cell phone.
I leave for a freaking week and the DAY I get out of the office, Princess calls me to let me know that LIW is at it again. Imagine that.
Now it seems that she ran to Sir Knight with all the big, bad, Clarinazi goings-on of the past week or so (um, yeah.) at 8 am the day I left, and made up all sorts of snarky commentary to shower upon SK. He gets riled due to the barrage of half-truths and the pack of lies, and goes to Princess to see if she can fill in/determine the Rest Of The Story.
Well, after much head scratching, Princess calls me to let me know that I should be forewarned that SK is on the warpath against me. After a few hours of head scratching on my part, I call her back to ask why. She let me know that LIW had told SK that I was undermining her authority by giving Minnie and Princess my computer password, but she didn't have it, so I MUST have left on purpose, and besides I'm always changing my password so she can't get on my computer anyways.
Bloody hell. What happened to LOOK IN THE DESK DRAWER, YOU NINNY?
I am required to make the files on my computer accessible in case of emergency. I am NOT, however, required to make, say, e-mail (or any other program for that matter) available to those people. Therefore, I choose to copy pertinent files to a flash drive, and leave it in the desk drawer, with a hidden copy of my password, in case of death. LIW knows this. Crap, even the feds know this. (And of course, it is a matter to take straight to the boss.) I say the more important issue here goes something like this:
I'm a lazy, incompetent slug who has a desk full of work to do, but nothing ever gets done. I know I should do it, but damn, it's frustrating when nothing gets done! (Especially considering how much the other people in this office do! It makes me look lazy and incompetent!)
Ugh. I would love to just walk away from this crap. Who needs it?
That was a week and two days ago. I have yet to hear this story from anyone in person. Go figure.
We made fabulous music...previously thought nigh-to-impossible on that particular medium (handbells), but alas, it was amazing. Nice people, BEAUTIFUL little 18th century town on the NC coast...life was grand. Then I answered my cell phone.
I leave for a freaking week and the DAY I get out of the office, Princess calls me to let me know that LIW is at it again. Imagine that.
Now it seems that she ran to Sir Knight with all the big, bad, Clarinazi goings-on of the past week or so (um, yeah.) at 8 am the day I left, and made up all sorts of snarky commentary to shower upon SK. He gets riled due to the barrage of half-truths and the pack of lies, and goes to Princess to see if she can fill in/determine the Rest Of The Story.
Well, after much head scratching, Princess calls me to let me know that I should be forewarned that SK is on the warpath against me. After a few hours of head scratching on my part, I call her back to ask why. She let me know that LIW had told SK that I was undermining her authority by giving Minnie and Princess my computer password, but she didn't have it, so I MUST have left on purpose, and besides I'm always changing my password so she can't get on my computer anyways.
Bloody hell. What happened to LOOK IN THE DESK DRAWER, YOU NINNY?
I am required to make the files on my computer accessible in case of emergency. I am NOT, however, required to make, say, e-mail (or any other program for that matter) available to those people. Therefore, I choose to copy pertinent files to a flash drive, and leave it in the desk drawer, with a hidden copy of my password, in case of death. LIW knows this. Crap, even the feds know this. (And of course, it is a matter to take straight to the boss.) I say the more important issue here goes something like this:
I'm a lazy, incompetent slug who has a desk full of work to do, but nothing ever gets done. I know I should do it, but damn, it's frustrating when nothing gets done! (Especially considering how much the other people in this office do! It makes me look lazy and incompetent!)
Ugh. I would love to just walk away from this crap. Who needs it?
That was a week and two days ago. I have yet to hear this story from anyone in person. Go figure.
10.02.2006
Whee! Time away!
As I frantically get last-minute things done, I finally made it to the point on my to-do list that says "Tell the blogosphere that I am going to be gone from their world for a bit," and with that, I have fulfilled my list requirements.
For those who care, I'm going to a geek-fest for the rest of the week. For those who don't care, I'm still going, so there. I would call it a nerd-fest, but that is reserved for another instrument class entirely.
Have a good week without me, and visit me on Tuesday!
For those who care, I'm going to a geek-fest for the rest of the week. For those who don't care, I'm still going, so there. I would call it a nerd-fest, but that is reserved for another instrument class entirely.
Have a good week without me, and visit me on Tuesday!
9.28.2006
It's the little things.
I'm back. Many apologies...I didn't realize how long I'd been gone! In my head, it's only been a day or two at most. I guess that's what happens when you have a job with real work to do and real deadlines to meet...(I've been busy practicing for a real job.)
Follow-up to the giganto celebration from last Tuesday. --
On Monday afternoon before the ceremony, while all of us are frantically running about, Ginsu calls Princess in a snit. Since she normally does communications and publications, etc., she wants to know why she wasn't informed about the goings-on behind the ceremony.
Fast forward to Tuesday:
The winner of the ceremony recieves a plaque. A big one with lots of signatures and embossing and other such trappings. Well, after said ceremony, monster plaque goes missing. Princess calls everyone frantically searching for the plaque. (and I do mean everybody.) After much distress, Ginsu calls Princess with another barrage of questions, and casually mentions that she "found" a plaque at the ceremony. Found? Yes, found. Onstage, next to the High Goddess's podium. Queen Bee decided that Ginsu was out of line and went after her in high fashion. When I find out the end of the saga, so will you.
In other news, I "attended" a meeting yesterday (hence that particular bout of silence). In other words I was the title-less executive secretary. I took 13 pages of notes for minutes. The meeting was an hour and a half long, and lo and behold they made a decision. That's it. One. Singular. Guess what they decided? To send the motion in question to executive session. Whoa. I guess that's what muckety-mucks do when they all get together and talk about how important they are. Grr. You pay for this! Every one of you!
Follow-up to the giganto celebration from last Tuesday. --
On Monday afternoon before the ceremony, while all of us are frantically running about, Ginsu calls Princess in a snit. Since she normally does communications and publications, etc., she wants to know why she wasn't informed about the goings-on behind the ceremony.
Fast forward to Tuesday:
The winner of the ceremony recieves a plaque. A big one with lots of signatures and embossing and other such trappings. Well, after said ceremony, monster plaque goes missing. Princess calls everyone frantically searching for the plaque. (and I do mean everybody.) After much distress, Ginsu calls Princess with another barrage of questions, and casually mentions that she "found" a plaque at the ceremony. Found? Yes, found. Onstage, next to the High Goddess's podium. Queen Bee decided that Ginsu was out of line and went after her in high fashion. When I find out the end of the saga, so will you.
In other news, I "attended" a meeting yesterday (hence that particular bout of silence). In other words I was the title-less executive secretary. I took 13 pages of notes for minutes. The meeting was an hour and a half long, and lo and behold they made a decision. That's it. One. Singular. Guess what they decided? To send the motion in question to executive session. Whoa. I guess that's what muckety-mucks do when they all get together and talk about how important they are. Grr. You pay for this! Every one of you!
9.20.2006
Sorry it's been so long!
It's been a while. Sorry, but I've been *gasp* busy. Work, school, church, you name it. Let's see if I can de-rust this past week in ye ole noggin and get y'all up to date.
The huge ceremony that I was helping plan and publish went off without a hitch. Except for QB's antics...imagine that... Let me give you some background:
Sir Knight was the emcee for the event. He has a monitor in front of him so he can tell when to announce the next person (he's backstage). The "backstage" area is actually a small platform about 5 feet wide that ends at 5'1" with a 4 foot deep dropoff into oblivion. The platform is fronted with a red backdrop curtain for the stage. Sir Knight is standing at a podium perpendicular to the curtain, making the walking path (a) very small and (b) very precarious. Especially for those who are wider than they are tall.
After Sir Knight decides not to move the podium (there are many logistical reasons why it could/should not be moved even a little bit), QB perches herself at the corner of the podium, effectively eliminating any hope of people not tumbling to their demise just as their name is called to go onstage. Refusing to budge from her perch, QB decides that the best course of action to get these people onstage is a three-step process. Remember, she is about three inches from the opening in the curtain (which is a true permanent opening)...
Step 1: Grab the winner's upper arm with her bony claw so to propel them past her perch.
Step 2: Holler at them to "Walk fast. Walk fast." Every one of them...because the people standing behind the graspee could not hear her this time. Of course they needed this direction. They were to walk three steps forward to get awarded.
Step 3: Re-enact a pinball machine by cocking back the arm and letting loose with a shove to end all to get the person to the stage. (Effecitvely eliminating any reason for Step 2.)
These three steps resulted in many pissed-off winners (they already aren't fond of the department...go figure. Neither am I and I work here!), and the video tape shows QB catapulting each person onto the stage. Goody, here comes the press.
So after said glorious event, the Head Goddess decides to have a debriefing of all key staff. Princess, QB, and various others are in attendance. She congratulates QB on such a great event (better organized than ever before--no, really?!?), and what does QB do? Three guesses. She says, "Why thank you! I worked very hard." Sorry, but I think I'm going to call bullshit on that one. She didn't even know what was happening until Monday at 4:15 p.m. Very hard my hindquarters.
And to top it all off, LIW is back to her unexplainable self.
Oh, and did I mention the new hire? QB hired an assistant. I can't even think of a nickname that is better than her real name. I think I'll call her Foo-Foo for now. You can figure it out.
The huge ceremony that I was helping plan and publish went off without a hitch. Except for QB's antics...imagine that... Let me give you some background:
Sir Knight was the emcee for the event. He has a monitor in front of him so he can tell when to announce the next person (he's backstage). The "backstage" area is actually a small platform about 5 feet wide that ends at 5'1" with a 4 foot deep dropoff into oblivion. The platform is fronted with a red backdrop curtain for the stage. Sir Knight is standing at a podium perpendicular to the curtain, making the walking path (a) very small and (b) very precarious. Especially for those who are wider than they are tall.
After Sir Knight decides not to move the podium (there are many logistical reasons why it could/should not be moved even a little bit), QB perches herself at the corner of the podium, effectively eliminating any hope of people not tumbling to their demise just as their name is called to go onstage. Refusing to budge from her perch, QB decides that the best course of action to get these people onstage is a three-step process. Remember, she is about three inches from the opening in the curtain (which is a true permanent opening)...
Step 1: Grab the winner's upper arm with her bony claw so to propel them past her perch.
Step 2: Holler at them to "Walk fast. Walk fast." Every one of them...because the people standing behind the graspee could not hear her this time. Of course they needed this direction. They were to walk three steps forward to get awarded.
Step 3: Re-enact a pinball machine by cocking back the arm and letting loose with a shove to end all to get the person to the stage. (Effecitvely eliminating any reason for Step 2.)
These three steps resulted in many pissed-off winners (they already aren't fond of the department...go figure. Neither am I and I work here!), and the video tape shows QB catapulting each person onto the stage. Goody, here comes the press.
So after said glorious event, the Head Goddess decides to have a debriefing of all key staff. Princess, QB, and various others are in attendance. She congratulates QB on such a great event (better organized than ever before--no, really?!?), and what does QB do? Three guesses. She says, "Why thank you! I worked very hard." Sorry, but I think I'm going to call bullshit on that one. She didn't even know what was happening until Monday at 4:15 p.m. Very hard my hindquarters.
And to top it all off, LIW is back to her unexplainable self.
Oh, and did I mention the new hire? QB hired an assistant. I can't even think of a nickname that is better than her real name. I think I'll call her Foo-Foo for now. You can figure it out.
9.11.2006
*Sigh* ... but alas, the Prozac was not to last
Let me start this humble rant with a nod to those remembering loved ones today. Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Now, on to the pro-drug campaign. Whoever took the Prozac from my office, please return it for the sake of my sanity.
This morning started out so well. I should have known that it was too good to be true. I got here before LIW (always a good sign that she will call in sick), but she decided to show up--about 30 minutes late. Pretty good for her, acutally. At least she came and all. After she got here, things went south rather quickly.
Ladies Man and the other scullery in the office had a big shindig today for one of their underlings (not of the agency) and LIW threw fits that he was getting awarded since he wasn't a real teacher. He had gone through a special process and after 25 years, been awarded this award (that has nothing to do with how he became a teacher), and she tells me that he isn't qualified. She's just jealous that she wanted to be a teacher, got her education degree, got certified, and no one would hire her. Instead, she became head g-slug at Agency X.
After I told her that she was crazy for hating on the program (and on the poor guy who was ecstatic that he won--for good reason, I may add) she decided that I was pond scum, went into her office and pouted for a few hours.
When she decided to quit pouting, she caught me on Princess's phone. And went ape-shit because I was answering her phone. Good Lord in heaven, it was a 2 minute phone call. I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Cripes.
And Minnie heard LIW telling me all this and complaining that Minnie wasn't answering her own phone. She was busy, I wasn't, I answered the phone. Get yourself over it. Sheesh.
Argh. Gotta go make notecards for an exam. More details to come...
...oh and don't forget to check back for the Love Triangle de Fire Mountain...
Now, on to the pro-drug campaign. Whoever took the Prozac from my office, please return it for the sake of my sanity.
This morning started out so well. I should have known that it was too good to be true. I got here before LIW (always a good sign that she will call in sick), but she decided to show up--about 30 minutes late. Pretty good for her, acutally. At least she came and all. After she got here, things went south rather quickly.
Ladies Man and the other scullery in the office had a big shindig today for one of their underlings (not of the agency) and LIW threw fits that he was getting awarded since he wasn't a real teacher. He had gone through a special process and after 25 years, been awarded this award (that has nothing to do with how he became a teacher), and she tells me that he isn't qualified. She's just jealous that she wanted to be a teacher, got her education degree, got certified, and no one would hire her. Instead, she became head g-slug at Agency X.
After I told her that she was crazy for hating on the program (and on the poor guy who was ecstatic that he won--for good reason, I may add) she decided that I was pond scum, went into her office and pouted for a few hours.
When she decided to quit pouting, she caught me on Princess's phone. And went ape-shit because I was answering her phone. Good Lord in heaven, it was a 2 minute phone call. I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Cripes.
And Minnie heard LIW telling me all this and complaining that Minnie wasn't answering her own phone. She was busy, I wasn't, I answered the phone. Get yourself over it. Sheesh.
Argh. Gotta go make notecards for an exam. More details to come...
...oh and don't forget to check back for the Love Triangle de Fire Mountain...
9.08.2006
Of mice and men
Some people have crickets, or bugs in general...we have mice. They scurry around for a while, hop into a trash can, and hide out, so people like Azzie can bring them by my desk just to hear me squeal. Good times.
In other news, LIW is at it again. I write a power point for a videoconference, she spends all afternoon doing the same. I talk to her as I am leaving to make sure she followed the guidelines and that I could pull hers into mine, and she says, "Guidelines?" *Unh.*
I will get back to writing all the ridiculous things on my blog as soon as I uncover the rest of my keyboard. My desk is piled high, but next week should see some daylight!
In other news, LIW is at it again. I write a power point for a videoconference, she spends all afternoon doing the same. I talk to her as I am leaving to make sure she followed the guidelines and that I could pull hers into mine, and she says, "Guidelines?" *Unh.*
I will get back to writing all the ridiculous things on my blog as soon as I uncover the rest of my keyboard. My desk is piled high, but next week should see some daylight!
9.05.2006
It's a small, small world
...so I went to lunch today with a former employer...and found out that Azzie's brother was the guy that worked with me when I was working for said employer. That was why Azzie looked so familiar to me. Freaky.
8.31.2006
Slugs 'N Drugs
This week in the office has been a scene from a sci-fi movie. Azzie has been nice, even to the point of talking to me (as in whole conversations) and dropping into the office and chatting; LIW took me to lunch and chatted the whole time; Queen Bee has been fawning over me...and the list goes on.
Makes me concerned for my sanity. I swear the whole agency is on Prozac. No one is sullen or angry. It's like I woke up this week in an alien planet, but someone forgot to tell me so I could put on my glittery antennae headband. Maybe next week will be back to normal.
Maybe I should just sport the headband and hope...
Makes me concerned for my sanity. I swear the whole agency is on Prozac. No one is sullen or angry. It's like I woke up this week in an alien planet, but someone forgot to tell me so I could put on my glittery antennae headband. Maybe next week will be back to normal.
Maybe I should just sport the headband and hope...
8.29.2006
Grumble.
To borrow a quote from 'Dog: "When my legions of flying monkeys complete my quest for World Domination, there's going to be a whole hell of a lot of changes around here."
I work with two grants. The more straightforward of the two has a passing decent checking system. The general system of payment is the grantee gives me the expense report, I double check the numbers and make sure that all expenses are properly documented, then forward it to the endless well o' funds.
I get a phone call today from the keeper of the well to let me know that one grantee hasn't been paid for seven months in 2005. After I pick up my jaw from my desk, I call said grantee and ask if they're missing money. Of course, they don't know since there have been staffing changes since 2005, but still. A missing $40K would put a damper on my year, believe you me. I get to nosing around to find the invoices, and lo and behold, LIW has four of them, but is missing the second quarter. Go figure. She roots through her office and comes up empty-handed. Big shocker, I know.
Seriously, folks. How can a non-profit organization that proclaims to be barely squeaking by (which if this is the norm, I can see it) not notice a pilfered $40K from a year and a half ago? Not exactly a trifling amount, that.
In other news...
LIW has a meeting tomorrow in a town about two hours from home. She doesn't want to have to wake up early, so she decided that she was going to go tonight and spend the night. Fine. Then she told Sir Knight and I that she was leaving at noon today to get ready to leave tonight. *blink blink*
Of course it's logical. It's the government, isn't it?
I work with two grants. The more straightforward of the two has a passing decent checking system. The general system of payment is the grantee gives me the expense report, I double check the numbers and make sure that all expenses are properly documented, then forward it to the endless well o' funds.
I get a phone call today from the keeper of the well to let me know that one grantee hasn't been paid for seven months in 2005. After I pick up my jaw from my desk, I call said grantee and ask if they're missing money. Of course, they don't know since there have been staffing changes since 2005, but still. A missing $40K would put a damper on my year, believe you me. I get to nosing around to find the invoices, and lo and behold, LIW has four of them, but is missing the second quarter. Go figure. She roots through her office and comes up empty-handed. Big shocker, I know.
Seriously, folks. How can a non-profit organization that proclaims to be barely squeaking by (which if this is the norm, I can see it) not notice a pilfered $40K from a year and a half ago? Not exactly a trifling amount, that.
In other news...
LIW has a meeting tomorrow in a town about two hours from home. She doesn't want to have to wake up early, so she decided that she was going to go tonight and spend the night. Fine. Then she told Sir Knight and I that she was leaving at noon today to get ready to leave tonight. *blink blink*
Of course it's logical. It's the government, isn't it?
8.26.2006
Nothing to do?!?
So I'm just getting around to publishing this little rant, but it's been floating around in my brain for a few days, I just haven't had time to get it onto the computer. With that in mind, I'll hike up my mini skirt, flip off my polka-dotted slides, and hop onto ye ole soapbox.
Let's look at Thursday a little closer: Meetings, photoshopping logos, busy, busy, busy. Desk piled so high another page would (and did) cause the whole pile to cascade onto my floor. Wahoo. Enter LIW. (Come on! Who else were you expecting?!)
She comes in to find my nose about a half inch from my computer monitor (where it had been for the past six hours) while I was working on logos for Princess's program, which is quickly approaching and also for which the agency is somewhat, um, unprepared.
She looks at my computer, me, and Mt. Scullery, walks past into her office and hides for the rest of the day.
Welcome to Friday.
Sir Knight comes into the office, he and I have our morning discussion, then go our separate ways. I continue to whittle down Mt. Scullery, and by around 2:30 it officially becomes merely a hill. Sir Knight have a meeting about what to do with the seven, yes seven, conferences we have coming up in the next six weeks. Much to do, little time. I have most details planned, but there are letters to write and stuff, hotel stuff to figure out, among other stuff--last minute type details that even the most unobservent person would catch on to. Or not.
No one has seen LIW all day long, so Sir Knight strolls into her office after our rendesvous to find her working crossword puzzles on her computer. He asks what she's doing and she responds that she's solving a puzzle. (There were few solutions written in, but that's a whole other soapbox issue.) Upon inquiries as to exactly why she is solving a puzzle, she says...
"I have nothing else to do."
Do mine eyes decieve me?!? She has a molehill of paperwork on her desk awaiting processing and I have Mt. Scullery on mine. Nothing else to do? Is she BLIND??? Grr.
Let's look at Thursday a little closer: Meetings, photoshopping logos, busy, busy, busy. Desk piled so high another page would (and did) cause the whole pile to cascade onto my floor. Wahoo. Enter LIW. (Come on! Who else were you expecting?!)
She comes in to find my nose about a half inch from my computer monitor (where it had been for the past six hours) while I was working on logos for Princess's program, which is quickly approaching and also for which the agency is somewhat, um, unprepared.
She looks at my computer, me, and Mt. Scullery, walks past into her office and hides for the rest of the day.
Welcome to Friday.
Sir Knight comes into the office, he and I have our morning discussion, then go our separate ways. I continue to whittle down Mt. Scullery, and by around 2:30 it officially becomes merely a hill. Sir Knight have a meeting about what to do with the seven, yes seven, conferences we have coming up in the next six weeks. Much to do, little time. I have most details planned, but there are letters to write and stuff, hotel stuff to figure out, among other stuff--last minute type details that even the most unobservent person would catch on to. Or not.
No one has seen LIW all day long, so Sir Knight strolls into her office after our rendesvous to find her working crossword puzzles on her computer. He asks what she's doing and she responds that she's solving a puzzle. (There were few solutions written in, but that's a whole other soapbox issue.) Upon inquiries as to exactly why she is solving a puzzle, she says...
"I have nothing else to do."
Do mine eyes decieve me?!? She has a molehill of paperwork on her desk awaiting processing and I have Mt. Scullery on mine. Nothing else to do? Is she BLIND??? Grr.
8.25.2006
Well, I'm afraid I answered honestly.
Now that I have a moment to breathe, I will write for a minute, then run again...
I had to take a Meyers Briggs personality test for a human relations class, and I'm afraid I was honest on it. Everyone in the office said it fit me to a tee...judge for yourself.
Pretty much hits the nail on the head, wouldn't you say?
I had to take a Meyers Briggs personality test for a human relations class, and I'm afraid I was honest on it. Everyone in the office said it fit me to a tee...judge for yourself.
"Creating order out of chaos" is one extraverted thinker's way of describing her volition. Determined, logical, critical, they love a challenge, especially one that will allow tangible improvement in productivity, efficiency or profitability. They are direct, finding the quickest, most direct path between what is and what should be.
They excel at implementing ideas and are often on the lookout for good ideas worthy of their attention. They are quick to organize, orchestrate, find resources, coordinate, and follow through to the end of a project. They love a problem, especially one that will make full use of their competencies, their logic and sense of order, justice and fair play.
Many find competition to be stimulating and fun. "These are the rules of the game now let us play." Fairness is sharing and respecting the same set of rules, so may the best one win. And since they readily acknowledge that there will be a winner and a loser, they would simply much rather be the winner. So they hone their strategies on the fine knife of experience and sharpen their skills to meet the next challenge head on.
They love having greater challenges bestowed on them as a result of having successfully met the last, as this attests to their competence and skills. They appear dispassionate because of their impersonal and objective approach, but close observation will reveal deep passion and enthusiasm as well as sensitivity, especially to cherished ones. However they expect others to roll up their sleeves as they do and meet the task in spite of personal hardships or discomfort.
They have little tolerance for personal whims that threaten a smooth running operation. They are direct and honest with most things that displease them and expect others to do the same. Their humanity shows in their sense of fairness and justice as well as their love of humour.Pretty much hits the nail on the head, wouldn't you say?
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