3.14.2008

Ya gotta love well-written snark.

In the Tulsa World Wedesday: "When scary met Sally" (by the World's editorial writers...)
Oklahoma City Republican Rep. Sally Kern got caught in the act of being herself -- yet again.

A recording of Kern stating that the "homosexual agenda is just destroying this nation" and represents a greater threat to America than "terrorism or Islam" is on the video-sharing Web site YouTube, which has received a half million hits in four days.

Kern, who was speaking to a group of Republicans when the inflammatory remarks were secretly recorded, now claims her comments were taken out of context.

We would only hope. But unfortunately that's not what the evidence suggests. Kern, a former teacher and wife of a Baptist minister, claims that she was only exercising her free speech rights. Those would be the same rights that led her on a crusade a few years back to pull library books off school shelves and to cut library funding.

Kern indeed has the right of free speech but she also enjoys the privilege of suffering the consequences. So far she's received at least 5,000 e-mails, most spanking her for suggesting "the homosexual lifestyle is destroying our country."

Joe Solmonese, head of the 700,000-member Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest gay and lesbian civil rights group, has written a letter to Gov. Brad Henry, suggesting that words matter, especially coming from an elected official whose job it is to represent all her constituents -- an official who should set an example.

That apparently isn't how Kern's Republican colleagues see it. Instead of flinching at her intolerance, they appeared to embrace it Monday with a big group hug and a standing ovation for their YouTube star.

Their reaction is one that should be remembered by more tolerant Oklahomans come election time. Equating sexual orientation with knocking down the World Trade Center is divisive and dangerous, not to mention dumb.

Rep. Kern may think she speaks only for herself but in the eyes of the nation her vitriol slops over on all Oklahomans.


So I can't decide if I like the article better, or this response to it:

3/12/2008 11:44:04 AM, Sally, Your Adoring Fan
Dear Sally Kern:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your speech, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan

GOD I love well-written snark. *GIGGLESNORT*

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ex-slug here. I used to work for the official information hotline for Oklahoma. One of my funniest calls was from a man incarcerated in the State forensic mental facility. He asked if you had to pass a sanity test to run for office. I checked the law and the answer was, "No."

You should have heard his response. I agree.

Anonymous said...

Do you really snort when you laugh?

MR

dave said...

"He asked if you had to pass a sanity test to run for office."

Followup question: do you have to fail one?