Note to the guy at dinner:

1. If you give your toddler a plastic mallet, please do NOT get upset when said toddler:
(a) Whacks the table repeatedly with the mallet.
(b) Whacks himself repeatedly with the mallet.

2. You especially have no right to act astounded given his prior behavior when the toddler whacks you in the nuts with the mallet.


That is all.

SUH-WEET!!!!

If you can't see my happy dance going on, you're blind.

The long-awaited-by-nerds-like-me album is FINALLY released!!! Chicago's Stone of Sisyphus (recorded in 1993) has been released. It's the long lost album that is supposed to be their best work since their early albums (according to Jimmy and Robert themselves!)... I've ordered mine. Have you?



*bouncy, bouncy, jiggle, bouncy, bouncy, hip thrust...*

So I'm untrustworthy. Get over it.

I promised I wouldn't do it, but these were too good to pass up.

No, wolves were NOT involved.

Contrary to popular belief, I have NOT been eaten by wolves in Austin. ...there was a moment or two, during which I was coerced into dinner in a UT bar...wearing my Sooners shirt...that my life expectancy, however, was in question. The weekend was a well-needed trip, but the hell on earth that I returned to has NOT been making my days.

Queen Bee is up to her usual antics, High Goddess decided AT PRESS TIME that she no longer liked the materials everyone had been looking at for 3 weeks, so I spent another two nights working needlessly.

Yesterday, I was informed that the venue for my upcoming concert (Monday) may have to be changed due to the asshattery of certain parties involved (not me!)...damn. The jury is still out, but I'll know by this afternoon!

I had two nibbles on the "get Clarinazi into a position where "SLUG" is not in the job title" campaign, and both look somewhat promising. We'll see on that too.

...so for now, we wait.

Rest in Peace

George Carlin died yesterday. Comedy will never be the same.

How many others can do an airplane safety lecture like he did? Ruined me on airplanes, yes he did. He will be missed.

Things are headed south.

My job has been kicking my ass, and my photography has been posted in various places, but I figured you were tired of always seeing it by now, so I didn't post the last bit.

In addition to my life sucking (you should have seen me yesterday!!!) I'm headed south for the HOT weekend.

While I'm gone, check this out. Class A beverage alert, people.

A meme of sorts.

This was forwarded to me. It's kinda interesting, and I want to prove to SOMEONE who had doubts about my filling it out that I actually did it. So there. I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do it too, great. If you don't care, look at my pictures in the next post.

Rules: place an "X" by all the things you've done and remove the "X" from the ones you have not.

( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(X) been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
( ) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(X) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname? Clarinazi
2. Mother's name ? ClariMom

3. Favorite drink? Iced Tea and Kool-Aid (my kind...not the store's kind)
4. Tattoo? Nope
5. Body Piercing? Ears only

6. How much do you love your job? Are you KIDDING?!?
7. Birthplace? Oklahoma
8. Ever been to Africa? Not yet (Europe comes first though!)
9. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Didn't even bake 'em!
10. Favorite vacation spot? Chicago
11. Ever been on TV? Only because of Pride...never by myself
12. Ever steal a(any) traffic sign(s)? Yes. Get this--it said "OPEN TRENCH" BWAHAHA!
13. Ever been in a car accident? Not that was directly my fault
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4-door
15. Favorite salad dressing? Spinach salad with red wine vinaigrette
16. Favorite pie? Chocolate or Apple
17. Favorite number? 2. For no reason at all.
18. Favorite movie? The Sting, Ocean's 11, Italian Job, Thomas Crowne Affair ... anything that includes espionage and intrigue and/or Pierce Brosnan
19. Favorite holiday? Christmas Eve
20. Favorite dessert? Brownies
21. Favorite food? STEAK! or Italian or Thai
22. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
23. Favorite body wash? Eucalyptus Spearmint
24. Favorite toothpaste? don't have one
25. Favorite smell? Fresh laundry
26. What do you do to relax? Take pictures, read


So there. Now you know. Dammit.

Back from the Nether-regions

I'm back and exhausted, and going again tomorrow, but here are my pics from the trip home from Watonga...whole story will follow when I'm not asleep at the computer.

Just bear with me for a minute.

GRRRRRRR!!!



OK. Now I feel better. Back to regularly scheduled programming.

This just kicked over my giggle box…

...or "The price of fame"

I had this (abridged) conversation yesterday with a friend of a friend, whom I know through texting, e-mail, and my friend (duh), but whom I have never actually met. Some would say he is famous, I just say he's a friend from Canada…

Canada Boy: I'm stuck in Dallas. And they lost my luggage.
Me: That sucks. I have another friend who has to buy disposable luggage for that reason…
CB: Some lady is looking at me really weird.
Me: She probably thinks you're hot, but she's too old for you, and besides you don't have any luggage so a 'terminal' affair wouldn't' do her any good anyway.
CB: You're funny. I don't think she thinks I'm hot, she's looking at me like she's seen me somewhere before.
Me: Probably on her 12-year-old daughter's ceiling. She doesn't recognize you without pink lip gloss stains all over your face.
CB: Oh, God. I hope not.

--a few minutes later--

CB: I'm in hell. The lady just figured out who I am. Funny people, these.
Me: HA! Now she'll just have to have your autograph to give to her daughter to hang next to the life size pinup.
CB: Damn it. She does want an autograph and a picture of me…with her daughter! You MUST be watching on video.
Me: LOL … next year you'll be sold as a plush toy at Toys 'R' Us.
CB: Now I have a line!
Me: *Gigglesnort*

--he breaks off since the plane (finally) showed up--

…then 10 minutes later
CB: OMG! This is the connecting flight for a Girl Scout Jamboree in New York! I'm screwed!!!

…and another 5 minutes later
CB: Holy shit! The lady is sitting on my left…and the daughter is on my right! HELP ME!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!

More photos and good deeds

These are today's photos. Enjoy...





I did my good deed for today. Did you do yours? I think the universe owes me. Maybe dinner.

Pictures from the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial

...and I do think I've found a "home" for my photos. I've been wavering between a couple different sites, but I'll quit changing all the links on you now. Picasa is going to be my new residence...

I have power! WOOT!

Who knew? Apparently I am a powerful woman. F*cking SWEET!

I saw the grassy knoll...

...and i have the pics to prove it. A little tired, a little pink, but well worth it. I had a great weekend. Check out the link and leave commentary if you wish.

Soon back to regularly scheduled snark...promise!