In which I am indignant and affronted

I hereby swear that every keystroke that is written into this post just happened an hour ago. No embellishments, no jokes, just straight up fact.

For those of you who know me at all, you know that my choice in restaurants is diverse, but when I find a place I like, I patronize it often (and usually eat the same thing each time). One such restaurant has been my choice in Cajun/spicy food for the past year or so, and since Pearl's moved locations, I darken their doorstep at least three times a week. One of these times is at 9:00 p.m. each Monday night. Gentle Giant and I come from rehearsal, go eat, then part ways until the next weekly venture.

Tonight began like any other Monday, except I should have known that something was in the air—it’s a full moon, but rehearsals went well. We got to Pearl’s around 9:10 as usual, and asked for our favorite waiter. After being told that he was cut, we settled for a girl we’d never seen before, and asked for our usual-type appetizer/salad/drink/entrée combo. We received the drinks and pitcher of tea in short order, followed closely by our salads and crab dip (together, nonetheless). By 9:40 we were beginning to be curious as to why other patrons were eating and leaving but we still had not received our entrees…and at 9:50 the manager makes the rounds, and we ask where our meal is. She comes back eight minutes later with our meals in hand and apologized that the ticket had been lost. She let us know that since the wait was so long that our meals would be taken care of. We thanked her and set in to eat our meals.

Less than a minute later, our absentee waitress came to see if we need anything, and I asked for a side of garlic bread, as I usually do since my dish of choice could peel paint off the walls on a normal night. She was gone for less than a minute, and returned, saying, (and all the quotes that are in quotes are verbatim. Promise.)

“No you can’t have bread. The kitchen is closed. The manager agreed.”

I thought several things were curious about the statement; in no particular order:

1. I received my HOT meal less than a minute before I requested bread. How could the kitchen be closed?

2. If indeed the kitchen were closed, why did she ask if I needed anything else?

3. Not only did she not apologize (i.e. “I’m sorry, but the kitchen is closed. Could I get you anything else?”), she was quite rude in the delivery.

4. Why would she say the manager agreed before I was even upset about anything?

After learning that I couldn’t have any bread, I asked for a to-go box so that I could eat it with my bread at home. She brought back two boxes, and while I was scraping my dish (watching our favorite waiter mosey about the other side of the restaurant, no less), she asked,

“Would you like any dessert?”

I cocked my head and gave her the old hairy eyeball, and responded, “Are you kidding?!?” She looked confused, so I explained, “You just told me the kitchen was closed, and that I couldn’t even have the bread that I requested with my dinner, yet you ask if I would like dessert?”

At this point, Gentle Giant and I got up to leave. She was still standing by the table, and almost shouted, “Well, aren’t you going to pay for your crab dip and tea?”

We looked at each other, then looked at her, and GG said, “The manager comped our meals.”

The waitress shouted at us,

“No! She comped your entrée only. What?!? Isn’t it good enough that we gave you $35 worth of food? I know you come in here every Monday night, but you’re lousy tippers. I can’t believe you expect perfect service, so you should just quit your bitchin’.”

No kidding. Remember the pledge. She actually did use those exact words to us.

GG stood up (he’s a little over 7 feet tall—he’s called Gentle Giant for a reason, people.) and towered over the waitress. He just looked at her and said, “Go get your general manager. Now.” She stood there for a beat or two, and he looked down and said, “Now, or you’ll have me in your face!”

She walks off to get the manager, who returns and asks what is wrong.

GG points to the waitress and says,

“SHE should be fired.”

“What happened?”

We relayed what had transpired, followed with the following commentary:

“Not only do we come in here every Monday, whether we are poor tippers or not is NOT a determinant of service. No, attitude is gratitude. If we receive great service, you receive a great tip. We WILL tip poorly for poor service.”

The manager nodded her agreement, gestured to our meal, and said, “This is taken care of.”

She looked at the waitress and said, “This will be.”

Before I determine my future pattern of patronage, I must find out what happened with the waitress. Never in my life had I been talked to like that by ANYONE, let alone someone who claims to be in the customer service business. However, I must commend the manager. She did the best she could considering the situation her employee caused in about 2 minutes.

The jury is still out.