I may as well get them all out of the way at once...

Mom, just don't even try to watch these (especially the one above).


Through various friends, I have found these following videos. Though Mom won't find them funny, I think they're just HYSTERICAL.


Here are links to the other two. If you're unfamiliar with the back story, here is the short version:

Jimmy, who is dating Sarah, always bumps Matt Damon as a gag. The first video is their attempt to get even with Jimmy (last month). The second video is Jimmy's revenge (Wednesday night)...note the all-star cast.

CLASS A BEVERAGE ALERT.

Queen of the ID-10-T Error...

So after last night's ... um,... mishap, I totally feel like a dumbass. (For the uninformed, I fell down my stairs...I didn't "miss a step" or anything, I was just walking, then I was sliding.)

Aside from the pain in by back and my pride, I prevailed, but still... I have now joined the ranks of the fallen. Or something.

In other news, I hate people who do this. They are the people that put bb pellets in tire stems and mail magazines to people who piss them off. Oh wait, that's me too. Never mind the pellets and the magazines. I just hate people who stop suddenly. I never contemplated that it could be deliberate.

When I get my legions of flying monkeys, my monkeys and fellow band geeks are going to take over your world. And force you to listen to the piccolo/tuba duet version of Colonel Bogey. Incessantly.

Because I treasure your sanity (choke)

Hmm. A list of the worst things about this video...in no particular order.

1. The song.
2. The hat.
3. The happy trail.
4. The song.
5. The graphics.
6. The hat.
7. The song.


You know you want to watch it.

Thanks for a great one...

Thanks, everyone...I had a great day. I appreciate all the well-wishes, cards, and dinner with friends I haven't seen in a while. ...and random visits from some I'd like to see more often.

Thanks.

Clarinazi, Saturday 5:15 p.m. - ???

This is my life. Sad in a completely rawkin way...(How can being able to play Jurassic Park on a tabletop NOT rock your socks off?!?)

This will rock your socks off

WOW. This is a nifty prank... Seems like something I would do!

(My favorite part is where people are taking photos of the people who are still...do they REALLY think it would show the difference between real people and the still people?!? Clue in folks! Only funny on video.)

A steal of epic proportions

I think I have ED too...

Electile Dysfunction

Coming to a ballot box near you. One of the comments on the post pretty much summed it up (I'd choose different names, but the thought is the same)...

nurf said...

I'm em-bare-assed to admit I need a little blue bill for this ailment. McCain just doesn't get me aroused like Fred Thompson did. Maybe someone will come along to excite me to vote in the erection four years from now? Think I'll turtle up and hide til then.

Change the names, and Amen.

When spell check isn't the answer...

So this press release came out of the Gov's office yesterday. Apparently they forgot that spell check isn't the answer to all their problems? (The significant grammatical...issue...in the email subject and headline are worth a million!)

Email Subject Line: Measure to Honor Native American Tribes Killed by Republicans in Committee

State of Oklahoma House of Representatives

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

February 13, 2008

Representative Mike Brown
State Capitol Building Rm. 539B
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73105
405-557-7408

Measure to Honor Native American Tribes Killed by Republicans in Committee

OKLAHOMA CITY (February 13th, 2008) A measure that would have honored the heritage of Oklahoma’s Native Americans was killed in Committee by House Republicans today.

“Oklahoma’s Native American tribes have played a pivotal role in shaping our State’s history,” said Representative Mike Brown, D- Tahlequah. “House Democrats simply attempted to amend a bill that would have reflected the heritage of all Oklahomans.”

House Bill 2674 was presented to the House General Government and Transportation Committee this morning. The bill would rename the North Canadian River to the Oklahoma River. Representative Brown submitted an amendment to the bill that would have renamed it the Native Oklahoman River. The amendment was voted down along party lines. All Republicans on the committee unified to defeat the amendment, while all Democrats present voted to approve the amendment.

“Is this the way that we treat those who helped form the rich cultural heritage of our State?” questioned Brown. “I hope that members of the Legislature will act in a more respectful manner the next time an opportunity arises to honor Oklahoma’s Native Tribes, instead of slipping back to old partisanship antics.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA! At least my agency's name isn't on that thing anywhere!!!

None of this is to mention that the fact that they are discussing the CHANGING OF A RIVER'S NAME in the Legislature... Your tax dollars at work. Or something.

Band season

Sorry I've been sparse on the postings since...well, since I got home from Chicago. Legislative session opened last week, so I've been busy at work, and band solo contest season is upon me, so I am spending evenings accompanying 25 soloists in addition to handbell rehearsals. I promise I'll get some stuff posted....sometime. I have some great things lying in wait! :-)

Thoughts of the day

It's Mardi Gras. I'm stuck at work on a craptacular day. I'd rather be reveling. My head hurts. May yours be all mine isn't. (and happy birthday to someone very special.)

The fuzz gives me the warm fuzzies

God bless the municipal cops. Seriously. If I could swing it, I'd take them each a cup o' Joe and a doughnut right about now in honor of their efforts to get me to my house.

I live just beyond a VERY busy intersection. Between this intersection and the VERY busy next intersection is the local mall, restaurant row, and the shopping mecca of south metro...including Wal-Mart and Sam's.

Envision the scenario. The N/S numbered road is two lanes each direction, and the E/W road is divided two lanes all the way to the interstate. Each of these roads is down to one lane each way, detoured about to make it very convoluted and confusing. HOWEVER, upon each road, going both ways on the N/S road is marked very clearly multiple times, NO LEFT TURN. So considering that all the drivers here are Okies, that means, "Turn left anyway, even though traffic backs up for a mile while you're waiting for an opportunity."

Until today. After screaming out my windows at schmucks who want to illegally turn for a couple of weeks, the munis apparently have also seen a profit opportunity.

The SW corner of the intersection has a circular drive that goes between Sam's, a bank and another through street. Therefore, the fuzz can queue up in the bank lot, see someone turn left, hop onto the eastbound street just behind them, and neatly pull them over in the through street...go through the Sam's parking lot and end up back in the bank parking lot waiting for another winner.

In the time that it took me to get from the interstate to the intersection, I saw 5 or 6 people pulled over. Considering the time, that makes for 30 people an hour, and each getting tickets that are (by law) $50ish minimum...let's see, that makes the local gummit about $1500 per hour, just on the people illegally turning to go EAST. (Not including mandatory court costs on the dummies who try to wrestle out of the fine.)

...deduct salaries and whatnot, and I think that after a few days of this, we can fund the construction project with the profits.




...oh, and don't forget the state law that says that all traffic fines are doubled in construction zones...

HEE HEE HEE Where's a cup o' java when I need it?!?

Sometimes it's just better to say nothing at all...

On my instant messenger when I got back to my computer (from Dave--what a surprise):

I was in the bedroom, stripping my wood, and the smell was powerful...

... (I'm refinishing a bookcase.)

Yes, Dave. Of course you are.

Bzz bzz bzzzz

Just call me the busy little bee. I've spent the last week working "overtime" (I don't get OT) at the Slugfest, but all in all, it's not been so bad. Monday and Tuesday were spent taking 550 photos of newly certified professionals ... but now that the photo editing and printing is finished, I'm good to go. Home.

And I plan on pouting since I missed all the swell weather we had (65 in January?!?) because of work, but I can now frolic in the snow since the wind chill is -3 degrees and the ice is starting to form. Argh.

If you want to talk to me, I'll be huddled around a barrel for warmth like a hobo.

It's not easy being a slug.

I've worked my ass off this week...after catching up from the trip and working on last minute things, I feel like I put in a full week plus some about a half hour ago, and therefore I'm surfing the web looking for things that may give you a good weekend chuckle (instead of actually having to THINK about anything).

With that in mind, I've posted the following videos--the Victor Borge one has been years in the making: I ran across it on TV when I was young and thought it was funny...and I still think it's funny. Maybe growing up is all just a big facade.*

Off to more government-related pursuits. Have a great weekend!!!



*See My Fellow Americans. If you haven't already, shame on you. It will crack you up. At least parts of it will...if you're smarter than the average Okie, this part will too.

Finally found!

I've been looking for this for a long time, and I finally found it!!! I used to have it on LP, but obviously that's not exactly technologically sound...

Speaking of sounds...take a gander.

For those in my life who like to fly...

Whether you fly planes or in more creative ways, this is damn funny.

*Gigglesnort*

For any of you who know me...or those of you who are able to read with a modicum of comprehension, the reason I choose this as my post for the evening (aside from the fact that it's just funny) should be obvious.

To the rest of you...try hooked on phonics. It worked for me.

I'm baaaaaaaack!

I made it home from the vacay and now I have to put my apartment into some semblance of order. I think I'm going to have to rent another flat for the clothes closet. (Quel suprise!) The trip was FANTASTIC and I think that Chicago will have to restock now that I've left town.

Tonight is the inaugural rehearsal for two new handbell ensembles that I've been spending a goodly chunk of time organizing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well and I don't fall over from exhaustion by the end of the night.

In other sundry bell-related activities, we did manage to move church rehearsals to Tuesday nights. I don't know how the old folks will deal with going to church on a TUESDAY (gasp!), but at least they didn't look at us like we were nuts as soon as the words crossed our lips.

As soon as my life returns to some kind of routine (probably Thursday at the earliest), I'll be posting regularly again. Until then, back to work with me--I can almost see my desk. WOOT!

(and to kill some more time, check this out: 15 Minute Lunch ... I tend to recall that there were at one time a plethora of similar pictures with girly themes in my early life. As my latent artistic ability never actually revealed itself to anyone but me, I'm sure that along the way, my artwork went the way of the trash barrel...but his pics more than made up for my lack. *gigglesnort*)

Rambling in Chicago

Well, I'm still in Chicago, and I'm still alive (though my wallet is crying Uncle at every stop), so I guess I'm two for two.

In the news of bizarre happenings in my life, I have a short story...

About two years ago, I dated a guy for about six months, and it totally didn't work out...maybe it had something to do with two basic problems in our relationship.

Problem one: I met him at work. No, we didn't work together or anything--he just happened to be working out of my office suite for a few months. After we started dating, he got weird about seeing people we both knew from my office in public because he thought that his job was in jeopardy due to the fact that we met at my office. In other circumstances, it would have been feasible that his concerns were founded, but as things stood, it was completely laughable. If he saw someone that would know me and have the potential of knowing him, we would leave wherever we were IMMEDIATELY. Mid-meal or whatever. GRR.

The second, and more major of the problems was the fact that every time I went to his house (which didn't occur until we'd dated for quite a while because he was weird about it), he would be watching golf or basketball on TV (usually golf. UGH.). This doesn't normally bother me, but I'm a pretty affectionate person, and it just doesn't work for my ego when I walk into someone's house who I'm supposedly dating and he (a) doesn't kiss me hello--not even a peck on the cheek, (b) says "Hi" as he turns his back to me to (c) go back to watching golf on TV. Once we reached point (c), whether I was in the house or not was immaterial. I could read a book for all he cared that I was around. I don't consider myself vain, but I can't say that I like it when a guy that I'm dating completely ignores my existence when I'm in the same room with him on a repeated basis. This became a bone of contention until one day, I went to pick up my car at his house after going to see a musical downtown with mom (because he was NOT at ALL interested in anything that I am), knocked on the door to let him know that I was leaving but would be willing to chat for a bit. He ignored me as usual, so I left. He followed me outside and stood in his driveway asking me what was wrong. ...I ended up leaving and have not heard from him since. Not at all. Not an email, no phone call, NOTHING.

Until today. Sitting in the library in Chicago, I checked my work email, and wouldn't you know it...and email from him. Holy shit. I thought he was dead or something.



I wonder what he wants now?