For those in my life who like to fly...

Whether you fly planes or in more creative ways, this is damn funny.

*Gigglesnort*

For any of you who know me...or those of you who are able to read with a modicum of comprehension, the reason I choose this as my post for the evening (aside from the fact that it's just funny) should be obvious.

To the rest of you...try hooked on phonics. It worked for me.

I'm baaaaaaaack!

I made it home from the vacay and now I have to put my apartment into some semblance of order. I think I'm going to have to rent another flat for the clothes closet. (Quel suprise!) The trip was FANTASTIC and I think that Chicago will have to restock now that I've left town.

Tonight is the inaugural rehearsal for two new handbell ensembles that I've been spending a goodly chunk of time organizing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well and I don't fall over from exhaustion by the end of the night.

In other sundry bell-related activities, we did manage to move church rehearsals to Tuesday nights. I don't know how the old folks will deal with going to church on a TUESDAY (gasp!), but at least they didn't look at us like we were nuts as soon as the words crossed our lips.

As soon as my life returns to some kind of routine (probably Thursday at the earliest), I'll be posting regularly again. Until then, back to work with me--I can almost see my desk. WOOT!

(and to kill some more time, check this out: 15 Minute Lunch ... I tend to recall that there were at one time a plethora of similar pictures with girly themes in my early life. As my latent artistic ability never actually revealed itself to anyone but me, I'm sure that along the way, my artwork went the way of the trash barrel...but his pics more than made up for my lack. *gigglesnort*)

Rambling in Chicago

Well, I'm still in Chicago, and I'm still alive (though my wallet is crying Uncle at every stop), so I guess I'm two for two.

In the news of bizarre happenings in my life, I have a short story...

About two years ago, I dated a guy for about six months, and it totally didn't work out...maybe it had something to do with two basic problems in our relationship.

Problem one: I met him at work. No, we didn't work together or anything--he just happened to be working out of my office suite for a few months. After we started dating, he got weird about seeing people we both knew from my office in public because he thought that his job was in jeopardy due to the fact that we met at my office. In other circumstances, it would have been feasible that his concerns were founded, but as things stood, it was completely laughable. If he saw someone that would know me and have the potential of knowing him, we would leave wherever we were IMMEDIATELY. Mid-meal or whatever. GRR.

The second, and more major of the problems was the fact that every time I went to his house (which didn't occur until we'd dated for quite a while because he was weird about it), he would be watching golf or basketball on TV (usually golf. UGH.). This doesn't normally bother me, but I'm a pretty affectionate person, and it just doesn't work for my ego when I walk into someone's house who I'm supposedly dating and he (a) doesn't kiss me hello--not even a peck on the cheek, (b) says "Hi" as he turns his back to me to (c) go back to watching golf on TV. Once we reached point (c), whether I was in the house or not was immaterial. I could read a book for all he cared that I was around. I don't consider myself vain, but I can't say that I like it when a guy that I'm dating completely ignores my existence when I'm in the same room with him on a repeated basis. This became a bone of contention until one day, I went to pick up my car at his house after going to see a musical downtown with mom (because he was NOT at ALL interested in anything that I am), knocked on the door to let him know that I was leaving but would be willing to chat for a bit. He ignored me as usual, so I left. He followed me outside and stood in his driveway asking me what was wrong. ...I ended up leaving and have not heard from him since. Not at all. Not an email, no phone call, NOTHING.

Until today. Sitting in the library in Chicago, I checked my work email, and wouldn't you know it...and email from him. Holy shit. I thought he was dead or something.



I wonder what he wants now?

"So What?"

Well, here's one that I never thought I'd see...make sure you watch the whole thing!!!

Looking for love in all the wrong places?

Click on the pic to enlarge...

I don't know a lot of things, but I do know that even in Jersey, you're not going to find yours online. Someone else's, sure, but yours? Nah.



~~
Later showed this post to a friend...

Me: I can't believe this...someone actually google searched "my taint"

Him: How do you know this?

Me: it appeared in my sitemeter

Him: Aaah. Referrer listings. Score.

Him: Was your post useful in defining "My taint"?

Me: I'd sure hope not

Him: If not, you failed a user.

Gotta love friends who are sys admins... :-)

It's just the holidays...

Just like everyone else, it seems that my days are too short and my task lists are too long these days.

I'm headed up to see some family next week, then on my self-proclaimed graduation trip (read: shopping spree) the week following. I'm sure that some posting will ensue, but if not, don't give up on me. I'll return in full force mid-January.

Drink some liquor for me on New Year's Eve. I'll be stuck with a couple octogenarians watching Wheel of Fortune or some such drivel...

Dilbert Boren strikes again

Although I am no longer a student at the esteemed Gaylord Memorial University of Oklahoma, it has been brought to my attention that they are continuing along the path of "keep fixing it until it's broken."

We all know that graduation was canceled due to the freak ice, and some are aware that finals were screwed up too. People ended up taking finals on Sunday afternoon, Saturday night, and apparently, January 14? This is posted on their homepage:

All Students To Follow Modified Class Schedule Monday, January 14

The first day of the Spring 2008 semester Monday, January 14, 2008, is reserved to allow students to complete Monday, December 10th RESCHEDULED finals from the fall semester.

Classes on Monday, January 14 are cancelled, EXCEPT FOR those classes regularly scheduled to meet once a week on Mondays. Those classes will be moved one time only to Friday, January 18th at their regularly scheduled times. The location will be the same unless posted here. Times and locations will also be listed on OU’s Online Enrollment Web page. In the rare situation that you have conflicting classes on Friday, you should attend the Monday class on Friday.

Considering that most undergrads seem to have difficulty understanding BASIC concepts (this paper is due on Friday. Yes, Friday. Monday is not equal to Friday.)...one must wonder about the thought process that led to this particular proclamation. I think that my friend that alerted me (my choir director) and I are going to take lawn chairs to the oval and sell tickets to fund a heater for the choir room (a.k.a. Methodist Meat Locker) at the church.

HAH! Mine too!

This is really funny...

...as a fellow blogger quoted (Fatale Abstraction),

Don't be messin' with Rita Moreno.
She's bad.
She's at least two nations wide.

---------------
ADDENDUM --

OMG! It gets even better:
I was thinking "damn, Rita is smokin' hot in this video, must've been about 40-ish", so, I poked around tha Intarw3bz and found out she was at or near 50 in this video! She is the only Puerto Rican actress to have won an Oscar, Golden Globe, a Tony and an Emmy-- she's a triple-threat power-house performer. And gosh, isn't it awesome to see a naturally lovely (i.e., unenhanced) rack on a female performer? Alert the media!

Rita Moreno is fierce. Animal knew what he was talking about!

That pretty much says it all, there. :-)

Perspectives, Vol. II

Here are the links, if I can figure out how to type through the tears...

Part I--Lawdog
Part II--AD
Part III--Babs

Enjoy.

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

One must hand it to those weathermen in Boren's pocket. Last night, about the time of my would-be graduation ceremony, we sure were socked in. With drizzle. Sometimes it was actually rain, even.

This morning, however, it is snowing. Yipee! Not that nice, wet, build a snowman and play in the snow kind of snow, but the Oklahoma version of "something white is falling from the sky, and we can't classify it as sleet, so it must be snow" kind of snow.

It's nice to know the DB has friends in high places. Wouldn't want him to be disappointed after he took a thorough beating in the media for canceling due to RAIN yesterday...at least my party will go on as scheduled (which I'm sure comes as no surprise to those who know me!).

I wish I were more shocked than I am...

I found out at 5:02 this afternoon that the powers that be decided to CANCEL GRADUATION for those of us planning to graduate this semester because the weather forecast is calling for snow tomorrow night and Saturday.

An inch of snow.

Are you effing kidding me?!? If I can haul my ass through ice (after which most of the area STILL doesn't have electricity, Esteemed University notwithstanding) to get to where I need to go, I'm pretty sure that an inch of snow is NOT going to stop me from attending graduation if I desire. Good ole' Boren has now deprived my granny of pics of me getting my Master's degree. The news is making fun of him all over the place, and I for one, think it's in fairly poor taste to cancel graduation for everyone in order to keep a few people off the roads. Actually, I'm fairly certain that had those people decided not to come to the ceremony, they wouldn't have attended. Leave your bureaucracy crap out of it and let the show go on.

And the timing of the missive from the old alma mater? Priceless. Just late enough that the news gets it on the air, and no one has opportunity to complain in person because the offices are closed for the day.

Nothing like the university coming to bite me in the ass one last time. Yesterday I paid $50 for my cap, gown, and hood. Cox, meet OU. OU, Cox. The goat is my personalized gift to you, free of charge.

Due to immense whining from the offended party...

go check out Dave's artistic photos of the ice storm. www.barefootclown.net

Some on the home page, others in the gallery.




Is that good enough for you, Chopped Liver? ;-)

Ice Storm Footage

We had a massive ice storm last night, and now that my power is back on (and my econ exam is FINISHED!) I've uploaded some photos of my apartment complex.

There are many places in the metro area that look worse than this, but pretty much all of town is at least this bad. Many people will be without power for a week according to the news...and it's supposed to get worse before it gets better.

Tomorrow (if I have work), I'll have to have a pickaxe to get into my car. There is no force on the planet that will open the doors! It has ice from yesterday topped off with ice from today on it. Ugh.

This is the view from my front door...

This is in front of my front door...

Entrance to the complex...

Entrance to the complex a

ECON SUCKS

Just in case anyone was wondering, economics sucks. Took 10 pages to solve this problem numerically and in prose, and this is the goal...GRR. (Click on it to enlarge)

It's so close I can taste it...

I attended my last class EVER last night. Yes, assuming I choose not to do a doctorate, or go to law school, or any of that (and the answer is "maybe in 10 years")...

One more exam to write and email to the prof, and I'm done forever.

It's like being in prison and looking out the front gate on the day before you're supposed to be let out*...






*at least this is what I think it would be like. I have never been imprisoned, so I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this statement. If you can, please let me know. :-)

Well, NOW they tell me...

Goal: the Admiration of all. Capitalize upon it, even?

Thoughts on Pier 1

This post began as a rant, and ended with me being pleasantly surprised...

On Friday, I went to Pier 1 to purchase some incredibly cool dishes...When I went to purchase the dishes, however, several things occurred that made me not want to buy anything in the store...this is the complaint I lodged to the company online:

On Friday around 5pm, I went into this store to purchase a set of dishes and glassware. I was excited to see a sale sign sitting directly in front of both the black and white colors of dishware that I was shopping for, and I assumed that since the sign did not cite any exclusions that the dish style was on sale. I chose my eight place settings and took them to the counter, where I was told by a very pleasant associate that only the black ones were on sale, even though the white ones had a sign directly in front of them stating the sale prices (see above). She offered to let me talk to her manager, and I agreed.

The assistant manager was on duty and he and I went to the dishes in question, to which I asked why the white weren't on sale. At this point, he told me, "The sign clearly says "Espresso," so only the black are on sale. We've had trouble with this before, so the company began putting the color on the signs, and besides, we can't control when people move the signs."

I understand the concept behind what he told me. I have worked retail extensively, and I am keenly aware that there are people who will take advantage in any way possible. My concerns, however, are twofold:

Firstly, there were two colors of dishes on display: black and white. I am a discriminating person when it comes to colors and signage, and never did it seem to me that the sign saying "Quadrado Espresso" was in fact saying "Dish Style Black." To me, the title of the sign was the style of dishes since there was no difference in the appearance of the words to differentiate color from style. Had the ASM stopped at this explanation, I would have been upset at the bad signage, but I would have made my $250 purchase of dishes and glasses rather than leaving the store.

My second concern comes from the remainder of the conversation I had with the ASM. He was very pleasant, but when he told me that they had no control over people moving signs, I was mildly offended at his delivery. When he repeated it to me on three separate occasions in the course of the conversion, it became more and more apparent that he believed that I had moved the signs in order to ask for the cheaper price.

This offended me greatly, as I pride myself on being honest and upright in my business dealings. I refuse to deal with someone who for all intents and purposes, whether intentionally or not, calls me a liar to my face. Additionally, I find it to be in poor taste that Pier 1 has chosen to believe the worst about its customer base and has used that belief to determine management and marketing practices. Had I been treated with respect and courtesy, I would have made a rather large purchase rather than leaving Pier 1 empty-handed.

Well, the company did well to surprise me by returning this email to my inbox this afternoon:

Please allow us to apologize for any inconvenience you encountered during your recent visit to Pier 1 Store #xxxx located in xxxxxx. Our goal is to make shopping at Pier 1 a fun experience, and it is important for us to know if our customers are not satisfied.

We have spoken with the Store Manager and he would like to offer his apologies as well on behalf of the store. As we hope you have seen on previous visits, this is not our usual customer experience.

The manager regrets that the sale sign for the Espresso Dinnerware was partially under the while color. We assure you that the ASM in no way meant to imply you personally had moved the signs purposefully and we apologize for any inference. The signs are easy to move and are often slid over to allow easier access to items, or get bumped during normal shopping, etc. We certainly don't feel our customers as a whole are less than forthright.

In appreciation of your patience in this matter the manager would like to offer you 20% off an entire purchase of regular price merchandise, not limited to the white dinnerware. To take advantage of this offer, please contact him and he will be happy to assist you in this matter. The store phone number is (xxx) xxx-xxxx and his schedule is included below for your convenience:

Tuesday 12/4 until xxxx PM
Wednesday 12/5 until xxxx PM
Thursday and Friday until xxxx PM
Saturday until xxxx PM

Thank you again for sharing your feedback. We know it is because of customers like you, who take the time to write, that we are able to improve for the future.

Certainly more than I expected, but it (mostly, not counting Wally World, previous post excepted) renews my faith in large retail corporations...

God works in mysterious ways

Tonight has been a strange night. I got home and parked by the mailboxes to check the mail. Expecting nothing too exciting, I opened up my missives…junk…coupons…credit card bill. OK. It normally sucks, but this has been a good month :rip: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Over a thousand dollars! EEEP! Crap. There went Christmas presents. Apparently, my hotel and flights to Chicago after Christmas cleared two months early. Knew about the flights…not the hotel. Oh well. I'll scrounge it up somehow—I always seem to.

Get back into my car, turn the key, and … nothing. No lights, no clicks, just dead silence. Great. What next? Call friend X, in class. Call friend Y, voice mail. No local friends left, so here's to AAA. While waiting for the wrecker to come attempt to jump my car to life, I hiked the distance of the complex in my dress clothes (more importantly, my dress shoes with five inch heels) to get to my apartment to change.

The wrecker calls to say they've found my car, so I hike back, and lo and behold, jumping it works. Now the car's running…what to do? Go fix it for real. I went to the place down the street to have the battery checked since it was massively corroded, but they attempted to charge me $42 to hook it up to the machine to check it. Excuse me? Do I look that blonde? (DON'T YOU DARE answer that!) Thankfully, I had the foresight to leave the car running while checking this out, so I hauled myself over to Wally World keeping every possible appendage crossed that they would still be open.

Yippee, they were! I pulled in and asked the guy if he could check the battery, and he said that he could, so I asked him if it cost $42. He looked askance at me and replied, "Uh, no?" I told him the story of the neighboring place, and his response was eloquent: "SHIT!" My thoughts exactly. The battery ended up being totally dead, and I asked if he could fix it while I waited, mentally calculating the cost of the battery plus the credit card bill minus a month's worth of Ramen…and coming up negative. Boo.

After the battery was installed, I took the receipt in to the cashier, a little skeptical since the mechanic had told me to make sure to have the cashier to look at the receipt. (Um, OK?) I told the cashier, he played with the cash register for a bit, and I was on my way. For free. Apparently, the mechanic wrote it up somehow that made the math work. I don't know if he was looking for a date or just taking pity on me, but he'll probably never know exactly how heartfelt my thanks really were.

Stream of Consciousness...

I'll apologize in advance in this post. When I come out of my stress-induced stupor, I'll probably rewrite it, but you'll just have to make do for now. This has been a rather strange week. In addition to meeting myself coming and going while burning the candle in the middle too, I've met Herr Governor (and didn't make an ass of myself) and I'm stressing over finals. *Sigh.* It will all be over soon. (14 days to be exact, not that I'm counting.)


My trusty internet at home is (again) broken (that's why it's trusty--I can always trust that it won't be functional) and has been broken since the week before Thanksgiving when the guy came to "fix" it, after which it worked for 6 hours. They're coming out again tomorrow morning. I've looked into alternative internet sources, but apparently Cox is the only provider in my complex, aside from Billy Jim Bob's Redneck Internet Service. Damn. As a friend noted today about Cox, "some know how to use 'em and some don't." Couldn't have said it better myself. :-)


In the vein of the previously posted bottle orchestra, we apparently have a bottle soloist. I have many questions about this performance, including (but not limited to) the following:
(a) What was the inspiration that culminated with "and I think that I'll attach beaters to my skates and play music. By moving past a bunch of tuned bottles."
(b) How did he get the bottles to be aligned just so for rhythm?
(c) How'd he tune the chords?
(d) Where does he practice?
(e) Why don't the bottles break?


I've gotta start studying. If I don't, I won't be graduating in two weeks because I'll fail a core course, and that would make me a very unhappy person.


In the meantime, I leave you all with this. Special for Santa and the other Elf-let. Because you're both on the top of my list!